Out of the mouths of babes (from the last year+)

So I've gotten into the habit of posting these on Facebook but not the blog, so I went back and tried to catch them all--I hope I didn't miss any!

Jan 2014

Having a discussion about babies with Molly, and how we won't be having any more in our family. She asked first if I "got her" and then said, "did you grow me up?". Please don't grow up any more kid, ok.

I went to get milk out of the fridge without realizing that Leo had already done so. I said, "Leo, you're throwing me off here," and he said, "That's one of my favorite hobbies."

Dec 2013

Molly: Daddy, can you say something funny so I can laugh at it?
Jeff: Something funny
Molly: heeheeheehee!

Leo just informed me that he's tough on the outside and soft on the inside.

Molly says “mintbreath” for breathmint.

Molly, you may not have a treat now.
Yes, I am going to.
Who's in charge here?
Well, I'm in charge of treats.

Molly, we don't say "ain't".
Why?
Because it isn't proper English.
Is it Spanish?

Just asked Molly to remove her stuffed monkey Mr Nilsson from the dinner table and she said she was too lazy to do so. #threegoingonthirteen

Molly just called me into the front room to tell me, as she was holding up a pair of pants from her freshly folded laundry, "Mom, this pair of pants wasn't folded very well." I don't think she's 3, I think she's 13. We missed the last ten years!

Nov 2013
Me: There is a god and its name is c-a-f-f-e-i-n-e.
Leo: Caffeine?
Jeff: !!!
Me: What, this is Leo, he probably knows how to spell thermonuclear.
Leo: t-h-e-r-m-o-n-u-c-l-e-a-r
Me and Jeff: O.O

All this time Molly thought it was Lonely Worm and not Lowly Worm in Busytown...

Leo just told me I got a A+ on the parenting test. I didn't know there was a test!

Molly just announced that she's not sick anymore because her feet said that. (???)

Oct 2013

Molly just declared that she is the richest, richest kid, because she has a new toothbrush. May you always find joy in the small things little one.

Molly: Mooooom, don't eat me; I'm not food, I'm a children!

Molly: Mom, were you there when I was born?
Me: Well, where did you come from?
Molly: Your belly. How did I get there?
Me: Daddy and I made you and you grew there.
Leo: Did you get the kit?

(There must have been funnies between July and October, but I guess I didn't post them.)

July 2013

Just Skyped with my children. At the end I asked Molly to give me a hug good night. She attempted to hug her aunt's iPad and then said, "But mom, I can't actually give you a hug right now."

Molly: I slept early!
Me: No, you slept in.
Molly: Why can't I sleep out?

June 2013

Molly is singing "I love to read, I love to read, I love to read read read read read. Reading is fun, reading makes you good. Reading is fun." In an unrelated note, her brother said a few days ago "Molly is slightly less annoying than fleas on a dog." I can't agree with that, kiddo.

Parenting physics: when Jeff and I talk to each other, Leo pays attention and wants to horn in on the conversation. When we talk to him he doesn't hear or respond to us. I tested this in the car last night, and it worked.

According to Molly, they are girl cheese sandwiches and not grilled cheese. Ummm...ok then. Don't tell my WI clan/friends.

Molly just asked if "sometime, could we go to a restaurant so I can practice using chopsticks?" This is what came home from the library yesterday

May 2013

Molly: Mom, Leo's reading while he's eating. Please go deal with it!

One of Leo's first comments upon getting his new glasses: "I can see we need to wash the kitchen window." Gee thanks kid. At least he volunteered to help.

April 2013

Molly's new favorite comeback is to call someone "deodorant". She thinks it's hilarious. It's sort of like when Leo would go around and shout "bubblegum!" for no known reason.

Molly: Mama, I can't get dressed because I dreamed about cyclopses. And puppies.

March 2013

Molly says "any" as "enty".

Leo has informed me that the Easter bunny lives on Easter Island and that he stores all of the candy and other supplies in the various statuary.

Me: Look Molly, they (the cartoon characters) are dancing. They're doing pirouettes.
Her: _Why_are their pants wet?

Me: Molly, would you like to wear your green underwear with the rainbow on it today for St. Patrick's Day?
Her: Sure. I don't know what St. Patrick's Day is.
I know they've been working on crafts all week at school...but maybe they haven't gotten into the history lesson.

Molly just asked me to sing her a song from the dictionary. (she wasn't amused when I suggested the ABCs.)

Jan 2013

Molly was up at 5 this morning screaming for pretzels.* I'm calling it the Bavarian uprising. (*Truth)

Me: Molly, can you stop whining? Her: I'm not whining, I'm moaning.

Today's tantrum brought to you by Wheat Thins.

Her papa threatening to take her to school in her underwear was the only thing that got Molly dressed this morning after 45 minutes of tantrum. She did not want to get dressed, thank you very much.

Molly is nutsing around with Leo's new harmonica and she said she's playing a song called Giant Seahorse. And she just asked for her own harmonica for her birthday.

Molly likes plementimes.

Dec 2012

Went to see the lovely light displays on Candlestick Lane in town tonight and we were all impressed/ enchanted. We saw Santa and he gave the kids candy. All the way home Molly insisted that she wants to hug Santa when he comes to our house. We told her she'd be asleep and she just kept saying, "But I just want to hug him so so much."

Molly: I want to be a doctor
Me: You can be a doctor. What kind of doctor do you want to be?
Molly: A pink one.

Proof that Molly listens to every word her brother says: "Mom, I want to be an inja when I grow up." Do you mean a ninja? "Yes, an inja."

Nov 2012

According to Leo, it's a "cartridge in a pantry." #falalalala

Me: Molly is very insistent.
Leo: Molly is insane.

Oct 2012

Me: Leo there must be goblins in your tummy causing those hiccups of yours.
Leo: No mom, it's just my diaphragm not working correctly. (Except he couldn't say it quite right.)

June 2012

Molly keeps repeating "tuna melt" as if it's the funniest thing ever. It might be if you're two.

Molly: I love you Mama. I love candy. Me: nice try kid.

I want to say cheese to you = Molly for can I take your picture?

Molly: can I have a snack?
Me: sure, what do you want?
Molly: purple!

Leo just announced that I'm no fun so he's running away. I took away a privilege because he was (repeatedly) using inappropriate language.

Me: Molly I love you so much! Her: Mama I love granola bars (which she was eating at the time).

April 2012

Molly just put on six pairs if underwear on over her diaper. But she didn't quite get any of them on right (think both legs through one hole).

March 2012

Just signed "I love you" to Molly and she came over and said "I love you too Mama." In other news, she's transitioning up to the next room at daycare and her new teacher said she's the first child she's had who can say "I want to go back (to the other room) now" instead of just crying.